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Friday, June 09 life is crazy. it sucks when things from the past surface that you thought were out of your life. but i guess somethings remain with you forever. even if you think theyre done. because its just part of who you are, and theres nothing you can do about it. tattoos to prove it may con you into even believing it yourself. but you know deep down it cant be over. not that easy. it becomes an itch too deep not to scratch. even if you know scratching it will just make it itch even more. theres nothing you can do. thats a terrible feeling. eighmi338 at 06/09/06 00:18 :: comments Sunday, October 09 i don't wanna work tomorrow at all. if its anything like last sunday its gonna suck. i have so many blogs. its funny. im tired. my xanga has more. /superxtrouper. <3 eighmi338 at 10/09/05 01:30 :: comments (2) Friday, October 07 just kidding. i'm not single. <3 eighmi338 at 10/07/05 00:24 :: comments Wednesday, October 05 im hungry. eighmi338 at 10/05/05 21:54 :: comments so i'm actually single. completely and utterly single. well. you know. it feels nice. i feel bad for saying it feels nice. but it does. except now i want a new boyfriend. teehehehhheeeheheehee. watched degrassi today. i <3 that show. new season starts tomorrow. <3!!!!! so much <3 in my life right now. its so great. grades kinda suck right now. they were so good. but now theyre like, C, C, B, A, A, C, A. im not gonna graduate anymore. life is cool when youre single. you can do whatever you want. but i think if i persued things now, i'd still be able to do whatever i want. i dont mean sex wise. i mean like.. hang out with my friends and stuff. i could before. but he'd always like tag along or make me feel guilty. i think we need to have a james bond party. pronto. <3 i like life right now. except even days. i hate those things. man. but i like other things. a lot. <333333333333333333333333. eighmi338 at 10/05/05 17:34 :: comments Tuesday, October 04 <3<3<3. life is good. except this whole work thing. i dont wanna go at all. im so happy. but so frustrated at the moment. i love odd days. i dont know how im gonna control myself in class. ahahaha. i love kisses in the hallway in between classes. ive always wanted that. its nice. its so great. really. everything. were so emo. its so cute. time goes by so fast. i love the beach. i love my bed. i love it when it rains. i love it when its dark. i feel happier than i have in a while. i feel bad that i feel this happy. but i cant help it. im happy. theres nothing i can do about it. gah. <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 i dont even care. eighmi338 at 10/04/05 16:09 :: comments Sunday, October 02 i talked to kevin tonite. everything is good. we can still be best friends and i can date other people. what a sigh of relief. cause i really care about him and i wanna still be best friends. yay! had lauren work my night shift tonite. I LOVE HER. so i got off at like 3, and then i went home around 4 and went to sleep. woke up at like 6. called ben. then we hung out til like 11. i like him. and im pretty sure he likes me. its great really. the way humans work like that. hes so funny. he tries to act like such a bad ass. but you can tell. i can tell hes not. its so cute. im thinking i was wrong about him being with a lot of girls. i can tell in the way he kisses me. but i swear. that look. EVERYONES noticed it. i loooove it. lifes pretty good right now. no complaints. except that tomorrows a 7 per day. but no school tuesday. so thats cool. i think im going to a party at noahs tomorrow. but with the way my stomaches been lately i dont know if i can take any alcohol. i might not go. <3 eighmi338 at 10/02/05 23:37 :: comments i have to work ALL day tomorrow. 8am-8:30 pm. =( So I should probabley get to bed. But aw. I like work. But I like other things more. i like the way he looks at me.
eighmi338 at 10/02/05 00:56 :: comments Thursday, September 29 i feel even more emo than last night. you know how when you think somebody likes you so it makes you like them even if youre not like googoo over them? i think thats how it is. i got this inkling that perhaps he likes me but he still treats me like crap. that makes girls go crazy! seriously. we were talking about that at work tonite. (which i love! by the way). that whenever someone you like treats you like crap it makes you like them so much more becuase you have to work at it. maybe the whole thing is a game. i dont know. cause ive been thinking. hes not really that hot, and he really doesn't have a great personality. but he is mean to me. and hes decent looking. not like OMG, but bangable. and not to sound conceited, but i can usually make guys like me pretty easily. and now it isnt happening that easy and i think thats why the attraction is there. because i feel jealous. because he has a bunch of other girls and im not getting all the attention. im thinking thats my problem with kevin. theres no jealousy at all. its all aimee all the time. and yes i mean all the time. its like i have no time to myself or anything. he knows where i am at all times. hes clingy. im really thinking now that i wanna be single for real. like, if i wanted to have a whole other boyfriend, i could. because i do. i want to experience new things. i dont wanna miss out. i dont just wanna be in an open relationship, because i cant really have a relationship with anyone else. it just sorta gives me permission to be a whore. which i don't want to be. everyone seems to think that me and ben are gonna bang. i dont want people to think that way. i dont want to think that way. i dont want to bang everyone i think is hot. i just want to live. i want to be a real teenager. i want to have month long relationships. i want kisses in the hallway in between classes. i want to be happy. i dont know. today was really fun. i liked everyone i worked with today. plus it was an odd day. i <3 those. after work was a lot of fun. just hanging out with lauren. were hanging out tomorrow after i get off work. well i have to pee. good night. eighmi338 at 09/29/05 23:23 :: comments Wednesday, September 28 im using this blog again. my first entry was today - 2 years ago. i signed up for a xanga. but its dumb. i missed this blog really. its great. and so bloggy. and my profile is so amazing. i needed somewhere to be open. i know absolutely no one will read this. cause no one did before. so i dont care. i dont wanna sound all emo art fag, but ive been thinking about my life a lot lately. its so weird. what if all my plans totally change? what if i dont graduate? and when kevins away at college i find someone else? technically right now were not going out, but nothings really changed. i'm just not happy anymore. i haven't been. but i know hes so just so great. he cares about me more than anyone. he'd do anything for me. i just don't feel happy.i really do love him and i want to be his best friend. but its like when he touches me i don't even feel it. we never have sex anymore. he always wants to. but i never do. hes my best friend and i love him SO much. i'm just not sure about the attraction. romantically and sexually. i want to know what it'd feel like to have another boyfriend. kevin was my first serious boyfriend. and we went out for like a year and a half. it was great at first and all. i just want to experience other things. and i know it would totally kill him. i know i can't live my life for him, but i really care about him and i don't know what to do. i'm thinking i like this one kid now. i don't know. hes like in love with this other girl though. and he sorta seems whorish. like if i ever went out with him he'd cheat on me. i don't want somebody to bang. i'm done with sex for a while. the more you do the more people lose respect for you. like this guy for example. i'm pretty sure hes been with a lot of girls. so if i were to ever persue anything, i wouldn't feel special. i wouldn't feel like he actually cared about me. because he just does it with so many people. i think everyone thinks i'm a slut. the way i see it, as soon as you have sex with more than one person youre not a... pure? person anymore. i don't count that one night though. we were both like freshly single. i don't think we really knew how to handle things. i had liked him for a while. but i sorta regret it. no, i don't regret anything. it was definately a learning experience. i really hate that i keep thinking about this new guy. i doubt he feels the same way. and hes not the "type" of guy i want to like. he doesnt have a job, or a car (he made me drive him to the girls house that he likes.), i think he drinks a lot. and i don't know. because i really don't know what my type is. because i've never been able to experience ANYTHING. i don't know what to do. i hate feeling this emo. i really do. eighmi338 at 09/28/05 22:45 :: comments Sunday, August 22 I really dont wanna go to school tomorrow. I hate school this year. So far atleast.. I wanna go back to Central. Duh. I dont care how crowded it is.. I went to Whits last night.. We rode on the Slip-n-Slide with Baby Oil. It was really fun.. ny. Im sick. Aloha. eighmi338 at 08/22/04 19:14 :: comments Friday, August 20 Im sick. It sucks. Well, Im crampin like a mofo, I have a bad headache, my glands are swollen, my eyes hurt when I move them.. And I keep forgetting what Im talking about. So Im gonna go take my temperature. Hold On. eighmi338 at 08/20/04 18:03 :: comments Sunday, June 13 hmm. this kid kevin always bothers me.. and i wish he'd leave me alone.. but i dont wanna be mean. 
eighmi338 at 06/13/04 22:13 :: comments (4) Monday, May 31 well.. i sorta aboandoned this blog for a little bit.. Sorry about that. I keep forgetting about it even though I like this one better. So.. church is tonite. WOO. Im excited.. can you tell? Ok well I gotta go get ready.. Aloha. eighmi338 at 05/31/04 17:54 :: comments Friday, April 30 yay its finally the weekend. ughhh.. im scared.. im gettin my hair bleached tomorrow. and im terrified its gonna fall out.. cause it already is.. and if i dye it more.. then itll fall out more.. AAAAAHHHHHHH. anyone got any advice? besides not bleaching it. eighmi338 at 04/30/04 16:59 :: comments Monday, April 26 anyone have any good poems about "standing up for what you believe in??" PLEASE. ill take anything. eighmi338 at 04/26/04 15:37 :: comments Tuesday, April 20 awww.. now it looks more.. not ghetto.. i liked the ghettoness.. it made me feel at home.. hahahah. kittie is driving me insane.. shes been digging at the gate i have so she doesnt go in the wheel like forever. ok well i just got home from church a little bit ago but still.. well im gonna go make some egg whites.. aloha eighmi338 at 04/20/04 03:01 :: comments (2) Sunday, April 18 a hah. what is this i read about new motime? hmm.. this may be my primary blog again. since once again - i love this one so much more.. theres just features about lj that i like. so last nite i babysat.. made $30.. and i think im going to again next weekend. but itll harder cause itll be from 3-9 so they wont be sleeping. and theyll wanna play outside.. and ugh. but its ok. cause its mulah. i think im gonna give myself a pedicure today. ok well im gonna work on my drug and alki class. aloha eighmi338 at 04/18/04 11:47 :: comments (1) Tuesday, April 13 anyone wanna stay home with me tomorrow? i dont feel like going.. guggghhhh.. and i dont feell like doing my geo hw. eighmi338 at 04/13/04 18:08 :: comments (1) Sunday, April 11 sorry for lack of postage.. but everytime i come to post, i get the error page.. wow.. weekend was eventful.. i dont feel like typing it out so just look at my friends page.
eighmi338 at 04/11/04 21:04 :: comments | |||
